CHEMO IS OVER!!!

Yeah!!!! I finished Chemo today. Not to eventful I slept as usual. Brian dropped me off and got me settled in and my mother picked me up with Erin later in the day. Brian got me flowers and candy. Thank you for all the emails and phone calls wishing me well. I do feel like it is a milestone. "It is not a sprint, it is a marathon" and I just past "Heartbreak Hill"- Boston reference) I hope I never have to return to this phase again. Now I can focus on growing my hair back in. I heard from a dear friend, that Brian used to work with, over Christmas that she also has Breast Cancer but was very private about it. She shared her wonderful attitude with me and assured me that in two months my hair will fill in with no open spots. She even got a pool/contest together for friends and family to guess when it all returned and they put in money and who ever wins by picking the date chooses a charity to donate it to. Sounds funny, do you guys want to do that too?

It never bothers me to spend the time at Chemo alone, one, as Mothers can attest too- I enjoy the alone time... Also I sleep most of the 4 hours stretch (I even woke myself up snoring today). So when I finished I felt all dizzy and wozy like waking up from a bad nap. I was well enough afterward my Mom and I briefly shopped for my new nephew who is joining the world in a couple weeks but I was still dizzy bleary-eyed so frankly I am not really sure what I bought HAHA, I will look at it later.=)

I will contiune to visit the oncologist every three weeks for a short IV injection of Herceptin that will coniune for another 8-12 months. This visit is like a walk in the park. You do not lose your hair or have symptoms with this and originally I thought it was going to take 1 hour 1/2 every time but the nurses say I have been taking it well all along and say I can get through it in 30 mins. So great, not a big deal.

After chemo I have to give myself shots to up my white blood counts. I started the process with only a 5 day supply of 2 small shots. Over the weeks my counts were slow to recover and therefore leaves me vulnerable to getting sick and slowing teh process. I was upped to 7 day supply. Last time the 7 day supply did not even help at all and I was still really low. Nothing to panic about it just means more shots. I was upped again to 14 days. It is a real hassle because two whole weeks of shots everyday!!! I have been battling with the Pharmacy the whole time so that is no fun either. But I am good at the battle now though.

It looks like our insurance is changing this year as well. I feel like I know the current plan so well Brian's manager has invited me to ask questions and understand the specific changes and how it pertains to our situation. As you can imagine coverage is king. The PET/CT and MRI that Brian mentioned each cost about $5000-$8000 each. I have had 4 MRI'S and 3 PET/CT's, you do the math... Thanks to Brian excellent coverage and the necessary due diligence, we have paid for very little of it.

Paige is doing well. She came to the DR office with me over her school break and sat with a wonderful friend who works at the medical center. She is a concierge for the facility. Pushing wheel chairs, getting coffee, setting up/organizing support groups. She is there to help the patients in any way. Brian and I met Nancy on our first visit to meet with radiation Dr. (Stanford Radiation is in the same building). She was so kind, warm and open, I immediately liked her. (She is a retired kindergarten teacher and breast cancer survivor as well). She showed us around the facility and put me to ease about how nice this experience could be. I changed Dr's and decided to received my ongoing care with Dr. Eldaly, because I liked him, I like the facility and mostly I liked the comfortable feeling I got from the staff and from Nancy. I like to call her my guardian angel, she swooped in at a time when we were so unsure of everything and she gave us a direction. Anyway, long story shirt. Paige came and sat with Nancy and they had a great time. They are starting a support group for children called Monkey Business. You drop the kid off and then the parent go to a separate support group during that time. It starts in March and Paige is so excited to go. She even drew pictures of monkeys that will appear on the flyers. I am glad she does not have negative thoughts of when I go to Chemo, when I tell her I have a chemo day, she is excited because she knows she is going over to her friend Brea's house for the afternoon.

Recently in school, Paige told us this story: the teacher explained that the class was going to pray for people who need their prayers and if the children wanted to suggest people that need prayers. (She goes to a Private school) Paige's hand shot up first and said that her Mom needs prayers because she has cancer. Hearing this, I pretty much "lost it" right at the dinner table. Poor Sweet Paige, she should not have to deal with this stuff. I was proud of her but I felt incredibly guilty as well. It's just not fair. Amazingly, she was not upset but for her just a fact of life. I think I will take her to sit with Nancy again, I bet Paige can benefit from talking to her, (ex-teacher and Cancer advocate) She is not handling the idea of me being away for three days for surgery very well.

I am sorry I feel like I babble on and if I repeat stories or medical scenarios, I am sorry. I hope to have good news to report tomorrow (Thurs of Friday) about the results of the PET/CT, MRI. I hope to see reduction in the tumors if not complete disappearance in some. I expect that some hot spots will be present and will need to be removed. I am not allowing myself to be too optimistic though. "Plan for the worst, hope for the best" is my motto. I hope the get a fax or a quick conversation with the nurse or Dr. and the more complete meeting on Jan 12th. I had to take that date even though I will not be feeling good still recovering from chemo, also Brian can't be there. He is in traveling to Nashville that day. Stanford screwed me again. They changed my appt from the 19th with the surgeon to sometime in FEB and never bothered to tell me I was bumped. They decided the office was closed for Martin Luther King Day and never informed the patience. I just happen to discover this by accident and was able to quickly get a new date. But I am irked because now Brian can't come to the meeting. This good news is as much his as it is mine. Anyway,they will hear my complaint to Stanford ( Always a battle) later but for now I am focused on the results. Wish us luck, I will call you or post as soon as I hear anything, good or bad. So be prepared. Love to you all.

Britt