Hello all- What a wonderful vacation to Oahu, Hawaii. We stayed at the Hilton Hawaiian Village, which is very kid friendly. It had 5 pools and four water slides, Waikiki beach and tons to do. We took turns spending the day at the pools and then the next day at the beach. We went snorkeling and rented paddle boats. We rented a car for the second half of the week and explored the Island. We found a secluded beach that is more visited by the locals than tourists. There was some snorkeling there but the view and the sand was glorious. Smooth, silky, white sand, I won't soon forget it.
We went to a Luau, food was fabulous, too bad Erin misbehaved so badly. She took a glass of punch and dropped it on the cement floor shattering it all over my purse, dress, every where. I was so mad, to say the least, but I had to pull it together to realize "Hey, I am in Hawaii". We saw a fabulous evening of traditional hula dances. Very cool. One evening, at our hotel we saw a Hawaiian musical review which played more pop culture Hawaiian songs like "Wipe Out" or "Hawaii Five O" or "Tiny Bubbles". They also had dancers including fire dancers and the evening finished with fireworks to the song "Over The Rainbow" by the famous Hawaiian singer, you probably have heard the song in commercials, etc. Anyway, for some reason looking up through the swaying palm trees on a beautiful night, watching fabulous fireworks, I got very emotional. I just couldn't believe I was here. That I had made it through and here I am enjoying this vacation and celebrating the finish of the year we just had. I felt so good and it was a really wonderful memory for me. I am getting welled up just typing about it. =)
We enjoyed our evenings going out to dinner and then back to the room to put the kids to bed and we would enjoy a bottle of wine on our balcony. We had a fabulous view from the 6th floor. One evening we paid for a babysitting service and went to a five star restaurant and had one of the best meals of our lives. It was so great to have the kids with us on this trip but I really relished that time alone with my husband.
One of the highlights of the trip was I got to Swim with the Dolphins. It was so cool. I have always wanted to see what it felt like to feel a dolphin's skin and surprisingly it felt like human skin but much firmer. It even had ridges similar to human fingerprints. I loved the experience and was thankful to my sister and husband who encouraged me to do it. I was giddy like a kid in a candy store. HAHA
Overall we loved our time in Hawaii. We literally were trying to find ways to not come home so soon. I came back very relaxed and happy.
Of course, the next day, I had to go to my Dr appts because I had missed some over the Vacation. It was kind of sobering to be all happy and tan and going to get treatment with all these sick people. I don't feel or look sick at all so I just hope that I can be an inspiration to patients that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Shortly, after we got home I was finally outvoted and we got a family Dog. I have been very reluctant to add a new member of the family because as much as my daughter promises to pick up the poop, of course much of the work falls to me. He is a shelter dog, poodle/terrier mix, about a year old. We named him Duke, for a famous Hawaiian surfer/swimmer. (For the Jimmy Buffet fans "Duke's on Sunday"). He was very skiddish and mistrustful but once we got him out in the yard at the shelter, he opened right up and I was encouraged. Since bringing him home, he has had some "issues" that an abused animal would have. He is quick to nip and bite and I have been very stressed about correcting this behavior. I guess I don't mind adding a member to the family but I really don't want to feel stress about it especially hoping that he does not bite anyone. Brian is working with him and things are better. Every day we go with out an "incident" is a good day. I hope to report that he is a keeper but the jury is still out.
I am finishing up the Herceptin treatments and I asked Dr. Eldaly if I could get one more Pet/CT scan now that I am almost finished. I have this intense fear that I am not really healthy,that there is still cancer in my body and that at any moment it will rear its head again. The Dr assured me that they take blood tests that are very sensitive to any abnormality in my organs. Such as, if there is something going on with my liver function or other organ function the blood test will indicate an issue. I understood that, but for me, why wait for it to hit my organs before finding a recurrence? Although I know that a PET/CT won't pick up tumors smaller that 5mm but I guess I just want the "all clear" as I finish therapy and my Dr agreed and ordered the test. So I am set for the test on Thurs, 27th at 9:30 at Stanford and I should have the results the second week in Sept.
I am assuming the test will come back clear but I of course need to emotionally prepare myself if it is not clear. If it is not clear, then I guess I will have to start this whole thing all over again. But I would rather know if I have a "hot" spot out there than to see it has spread to an organ where it is more difficult to take care of. For those Cancer survivors, this is the life we live, the constant fear of a recurrence. It is a horrible existence, but I guess I just have to assume it won't be back because I really don't have any control over it.
If the Pet/CT is clear, I am set for Reconstruction Surgery on Sept 11th. I worked with my surgeon to determine what I want to look like. I have been very ambivalent about whether I go for a bigger size or recreate the same size I am. If I wanted to go larger I would need an implant on the right side (my natural breast) but instead I opted for a "lift". It makes me look more "youthful", but essentially the same cup size. What it came down to is, I am happy with the size I am and I am fearful that if I go bigger, I will feel self conscience. I just want to look the same, a little perkier, but the essentially the same.=)
Paige starts school next week and I couldn't be happier. We need to get back into a routine. I sound like such a MOM, but we do. The kids are up at all hours of the night and I am tired of hearing "Mom, I'm bored, there is nothing to do". She is excited to be in 1st grade. We are going on one more camping trip before school, actually she will miss a couple days but it is not a big deal. We are heading to Oregon to a rustic cabin that we love on Chetco river. We will spend about four days and then head back and get Paige off to school. It might be a tough first couple of days for her but I am sure she will bounce back.
Our family was chosen to be part of an Emanuel Hospital brochure and newsletter. I can't seem to attach it but drop me an email and I can send it to you. In case you weren't aware, Emanuel Cancer Endowment program chose four "success stories" to be highlighted for their marketing materials and we were chosen to be a part of it. So we had a photo shoot and an interview to get my story as part of advertising to raise money for the Cancer Endowment. So our picture with the kids was chosen to be on the cover of the brochure as well as the newsletter. The newsletter is mailed to 6000 households locally. Kind of cool.
I will give an update on the Pet/CT so check in again in a couple weeks.
Love you all, Britt
