Hello all- Hope you are ready for Christmas, I certainly am. With Chemo on The 17th, I was forced to be prepared as though the 17th was practically Christmas Eve. I feel when I go into a chemo treatment, I know I am out of pocket for a week so it feels like I am going on some sort of messed up vacation. I clean off my desk, pay the bills, and try to wrap up everything because I won't be revisiting it for a bout 6 days. So I am pretty well set for Christmas minus some wrapping. Chemo was fine. My Mom and Brian are taking good care of me. A nice perk of this whole thing, is working with the American Cancer Society, they have a program called "Look good, feel better". Basically all these makeup companies donate makeup and a woman teaches you how to apply makeup while going through chemo. Your skin gets really dry, and in some cases women lose their eyebrows and eye lashes. I am lucky I never lost my eye lashes or eye brows (some small blessings) but I still wanted to go because you get about $250 worth of free makeup. It does make you feel better to have all this shiny new makeup to play with. Anyway, I met a woman my age also going through Chemo. She is 30 and has luychemia. I was telling her that most the women I run into are older. She said in her case most people are younger as Lukemioa is usually a disease common in children. Anyway, she was nice and I hope to connect with her again.
So Mom and I made Christmas cookies today ( actually she did most of it, I just kind of hoovered around) and Paige wrapped some presents, and overall we will have a nice Christmas holiday. My father is set to fly in on Tues. He has been battling bad weather in his part of the country losing electricity for almost 9 days. I am sure he will appreciate the somewhat warm weather of CA.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Chemo 4 & Chemo 5 on Dec 17th
Hi everyone, sorry I have not been keeping up on more updates. I know you get a lot from the blog but at this point I am in the groove with less urgent updates. I have my Chemo dates set. Chemo on Dec 17th and then again on Jan 7th and then I am done. I even have my surgery and followup tests set. If all goes according to plan, I should have my followup Pet Scan/CT in early January. This will be a very important test result. It will determine the direction of surgery and my next steps. I am tentatively set for surgery end of Jan. I have to wait at least three weeks after my last Chemo to fully heal and have no chance of infection, etc.
I have actually reached a point where I have some sense of a routine and the constant updates of the summer seems to have dissipated. I am in a place now where I am finally reflecting on the serious side of this disease and the steps I still need to take before it is over. I read a couple stories of other survivors such as Lance Armstrong and I just finished a book "Why I wore Lipstick to my Mastectomy". In their stories, they were so serious, devastated and scared. I guess I had been viewing this disease as some sort of project that will be over in about a year. It never occured to me to be scared that a recurrence is a real possibility and God forbid, I might have to do this all over again. A friend I used to play softball with, I recently found out she had a recurrence and has battled breast cancer twice. I don't think I could take it, if that happened to me. Those kinds of thoughts have been in the forefront lately. Even though these thoughts creep up, I can't assume the worse case scenario. I have to move forward with the course I am on. Being scared does nothing as far as change anything so it is better to be positive with what I have accomplished so far.
I also trying to get finished with Christmas shopping and preparations because I am anticipating not being up for much after the 17th. We are looking forward to a good Christmas. My mother, Father and sister will be visiting and Erin is a perfect age to really begin to understand Santa and presents. I will be feeling better by the time Christmas comes but I don't know if I will be able to enjoy Christmas dinner with my taste buds getting so messed up. This past time, everything tasted overly salty, sweet or savory. I was resorting to eating Pretzels, popcorn and cereal. Thankfully it only lasts a couple days.
I went to a support group last week with other breast cancer survivors and the ladies were very nice. They were all around 50 and 60 years old. I am still searching for someone to lean on who is my age now. I know it is not as common though. From these ladies, I heard stories of really bad reactions to Chemo. I felt lucky that I don't have those terrible side effects. They had troubles like swollen legs and ankles, cold sores, throwing up to the point of malnutrition, back pain, hospitalization for blood transfusions. All I feel is under the weather for 5-6 days. When you put it in perspective, I feel lucky.
Lately, I noticed after Chemo, the very next day I feel the effects. I lay around a lot and sleep a lot instead of a 2-3 day delay. I have very little motivation to do anything. By the 4th and 5th day, my motivation is back but my body is not. It is frustrating when I feel in my head, I am ready to get back to my life but I am still tired and lethargic. By day 6, I am ready to "reenter life" again. I tell my friends "I am back". I am able to take care of daily things and pick up all the loose ends that I blew off for a week. It feels good to be back. And after that I am my usual self.
Have a wonderful Christmas if I don't get to report in until after Christmas.
Britt
I have actually reached a point where I have some sense of a routine and the constant updates of the summer seems to have dissipated. I am in a place now where I am finally reflecting on the serious side of this disease and the steps I still need to take before it is over. I read a couple stories of other survivors such as Lance Armstrong and I just finished a book "Why I wore Lipstick to my Mastectomy". In their stories, they were so serious, devastated and scared. I guess I had been viewing this disease as some sort of project that will be over in about a year. It never occured to me to be scared that a recurrence is a real possibility and God forbid, I might have to do this all over again. A friend I used to play softball with, I recently found out she had a recurrence and has battled breast cancer twice. I don't think I could take it, if that happened to me. Those kinds of thoughts have been in the forefront lately. Even though these thoughts creep up, I can't assume the worse case scenario. I have to move forward with the course I am on. Being scared does nothing as far as change anything so it is better to be positive with what I have accomplished so far.
I also trying to get finished with Christmas shopping and preparations because I am anticipating not being up for much after the 17th. We are looking forward to a good Christmas. My mother, Father and sister will be visiting and Erin is a perfect age to really begin to understand Santa and presents. I will be feeling better by the time Christmas comes but I don't know if I will be able to enjoy Christmas dinner with my taste buds getting so messed up. This past time, everything tasted overly salty, sweet or savory. I was resorting to eating Pretzels, popcorn and cereal. Thankfully it only lasts a couple days.
I went to a support group last week with other breast cancer survivors and the ladies were very nice. They were all around 50 and 60 years old. I am still searching for someone to lean on who is my age now. I know it is not as common though. From these ladies, I heard stories of really bad reactions to Chemo. I felt lucky that I don't have those terrible side effects. They had troubles like swollen legs and ankles, cold sores, throwing up to the point of malnutrition, back pain, hospitalization for blood transfusions. All I feel is under the weather for 5-6 days. When you put it in perspective, I feel lucky.
Lately, I noticed after Chemo, the very next day I feel the effects. I lay around a lot and sleep a lot instead of a 2-3 day delay. I have very little motivation to do anything. By the 4th and 5th day, my motivation is back but my body is not. It is frustrating when I feel in my head, I am ready to get back to my life but I am still tired and lethargic. By day 6, I am ready to "reenter life" again. I tell my friends "I am back". I am able to take care of daily things and pick up all the loose ends that I blew off for a week. It feels good to be back. And after that I am my usual self.
Have a wonderful Christmas if I don't get to report in until after Christmas.
Britt
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