Hi everyone

I am home from the hospital. They released me a day early. I recovered pretty well. I think the surgery from the two c-sections from the girls births was a bit tougher as they operate on your stomach muscles vr. upper body muscles with this surgery. I got into my hospital room around 7:00 Tues night and finally got something to eat at 10:00. I hadn't eaten anything since Midnight the night before. So I needed at least something. I really didn't care so it ended up being mac & cheese, a few bites of rice and a few bites of carrots. Then off to sleep. I woke up a couple times through the night but all and all with the help of my morphine drip was feeling OK. Or as well as can be expected.

In the morning, I had a nice big breakfast and Brian came to the hospital at 10:00 after getting Paige ready and off to school. She has had play dates at my friends Sara's and Heidi's house the last couple days to help keep her mind off my being away but she was missing Mom.

I was transitioned to Vicadan pill pain killer and off the morphine and was getting around pretty good so they felt confident in letting me go. I had to share a room with another patient and it was cramped and awkward. SO I was ready.

We stopped for takeout on the way home and we just finished dinner. My sister Kara and Mother are here helping with the kids, they were a great help. I just have to keep the kids from jumping on me as my left side is pretty limiting. I can rely on my right side to get me up, etc. So I am glad to be back home. Thank you for the flowers and thoughts and prayers. It feels good that so many people are thinking of me all around the country.

Britt

5:48 pm

I just spoke with the plastic surgeon Britt is out of Surgery. He said things went well on his end of the surgery. Britt is now in the recovery room, for another 2 hours or so, and then she will be moved to the hospital.

4:39 pm

I just spoke to the Oncology Surgeon, the Mastectomy is complete. The are now beginning the reconstruction which involves placing a tissue expander under the pectoral muscle. The doctor said they had to move very slow because of the scar tissue from the previous biopsy and lumpectomy. She was able to get the two lymph nodes that were concerning her, and overall she thinks things went very well. I should hear from the plastic surgeon in about an hour to an hour and a half.

4:27 PM

Wow, we have hit the 4 hour mark and still no word. I am comforted by the fact that these are some very skilled people at one of the finest hospitals in the United States, but the waiting is killing me.

1:10 pm

Britt is in surgery. The MRI went fine, they were able to mark the two areas the surgeon wanted make sure she got at. After we returned to the surgical unit we met with the surgeon, plastic surgeon, an anesthesiologist. They are expecting a routine operation. On lighter side (I need a laugh right now), one of Britt's friends sent her a Face Book note to list 25 things about yourself that other people would not know. We had a good laugh about this, and the realization that after 13+ years there is nothing we don't know about each other, in fact Britt suggested I write hers for her, so here goes. For the sake of brevity I am only including 10.
1. She snores, really loud, but only when she sleeps on her back.
2. She twirls her hair when she thinks. It kills her not to have any hair to twirk right now, but she does twirl her wig.
3. She is obsessive about maintaining her friendships both past and present.
4. She can't cook, nor does she want to learn.
5. She once stole a 6 foot blow up Corona Bottle from a Jimmy Buffet concert (she had to give it back after security caught her)
6. She loves reality TV, any show any time.
7. She loves camping for the S'Mores, and hates it for the dirt.
8. She loves to sleep and very rarely is in a good mood when she has to wake up.
9. She is a great mother and wife.
10. She is the most brave courageous person I have ever known.

I will blog after the first surgeon is done, and comes out to speak to me.

Brian

8:37 am

Britt has gone back for the MRI, I have to say the last 24 hours have been a lot more emotional than we realized. I think we thought we had thought this through so many times that we were prepared, but sometime last night the reality of the situation really set in. I will probably be a little stir crazy today, I am sitting in the surgery waiting room, and of course all I can do is wait. I might not even get to see Britt in between the MRI and Surgery so that means it might be 6:00 tonight or later before I get to see her again, that is very tough. The surgery center here at Stanford is a really top notch, very professional facility, you can even check the patients status on a electronic board, which has list of patient numbers and their status, right now it has patient 37489 (Britt), listed as pre-op. Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers today.

Blog Updates

5:20 am
Today is the day, Britt and I are in Santa Clara, we stayed over last night in preparation for the early morning today. We need to be at the hospital at 7:00 am, they will do an MRI where they will identify and mark a couple of areas that the surgeon will be targeting. This should take about three hours, then teh surgery is scheduled for 11:50 am, they are expecting that it will take about 4 hours, after that it will be another 2 hours in the recovery room. I will post semi-regular updates all day today, as information warrants.
Brian

Hospital this week

I am packing for my time in the hospital and preparing the house for my mother to take over the kids for the next couple days. After tonight I won't be home for a couple nights and Brian will be in and out to be with the kids, etc. I assume if I am feeling good, I would get home earlier than expected because they don't keep you there if it's not necessary. I am feeling healthy so thankfully I did not get sick and I assume my blood counts are high enough as well. I am still nervous that something will jinx the whole thing but I guess I am as ready as I will ever be. Monday I will have appts to attend and then Brian and will stay over close by for an early start on Tues. Apparently it will be a long day with two surgeons back to back. I assume Brian will be updating the blog after the surgery.

Thank you again for all of you still sticking with me over the long haul. This is one step closer to this being over.

Britt

Next Stop: Mastectomy

Hello all- It has been a rollercoaster of a week. I didn't post right away because I hate to drag everyone through all the emotions until things were set. I met with the surgeon on Monday with my Mother and Sister. The great news is that the Surgeon was exstatic with the resutls of the Chemo. I finally let myself be truely happy because I didn't realize there was a chance the Chemo might not work. I assumed it would, but some people go into Chemo, go through all that and then find out later that there was no effect. The cancer was still there and now what!! Luckily in my case the opposite happened. Not only has the cancer in my lymph nodes shrunk, it is not even present on the PET Scan or MRI. What that means for my surgeon is that she does not even feel she needs to operate on any of the lymph nodes but reccommends Radiation to get any of the final cells. I had cancer in hard to reach places like under my arm, behind my ribcage, under my clavical, and behind my chestwall. If the surgeon was forced to try and surgically remove lymph nodes in these hard to reach areas I was facing complications such as nerve damage and or even loss of the use of my arm, things like that. But with the Chemo that risk is eliminated.

She also was so pleased with the results, she gave me the option to try for a lumpectomy, remove a portion of the breast, and not the mastectomy, which would take my whole breast. I had been fighting to try and save my breast all this time so it was a tempting offer but when it got down to it, I can't take the chance of a recurrance, so with a heavy heart, I have opted for the mastectomy anyway. It came down to something called DCIS, Ductal Carsinoma in situ. It is "cancer that has not developed yet". I had that as well as "developed" cancer therefore, if not removed there is a chance that it could come back some day. Since I am young and have another 40+ years to live, I need to be aware that "undeveloped" cancer could very likely develop at some point and I would be back in this situation again. I don't want to take that chance so hence the decision.

Now I do still need to watch the other cancerous lymph nodes for the rest of my life. Even with radiation, there still is a chance that it could pop up again but hopefully not.

So I am set for more appts on Jan 26th and Surgery on Jan 27th. I feel dejavou wriitng this because I had another surgery date set which was canceled. If some thing happens between now and then, I apoligize ahead of time. I can't count on anything anymore. Frankly, if I get sick in the mean time, then the surgery has to be postponed. I have been feeling good so keep your fingers crossed. I will stay in the hospital for two days and maybe be released on the 29th.

In other news, Brian and I are an aunt and uncle again. We welcomed the birth of our new nephew, son of Dave and Marlo, Brian's brother who lives in Philadelphia. I am not sure the next time I would get to Philly to meet him but I can't wait to see pictures.

Thnka you for the enthusiastic comments and well wishes. It is a victory!!!

Britt

Blog from Paige

Hi, Its actually not too bad that my mom has cancer. I get some good things in life but some bad things that you don't want to handle. Like one of the bad things is I don't get to see here very much. One of the good thing is now no one has to cook. Because people bring us food. And one of the bad tings, there aren't that many. Want to hear some more good things? Like my Mom said, Nancy is pretty nice. Nancy said that the Monkey pictures I drew could be their mascots, I drew a whole family. The way I feel about Mom going into the hospital is: with her going away for four days, I am scared I am not going to see her again. I would like to visit her in the hospital but I am scared for me and for her.

Sincerely, Paige

Great news from the PET/CT and MRI

I knew you would all like to know as soon as possible. Finally some good news. I got the results of the MRI and PET /CT from earlier this week. Of the three areas where there was cancer in the lymph nodes: the rib cage, under the left arm, and behind the chest wall-- those three locations are "no longer suggestive of cancer". It means there is still "activity" in these lymph nodes but NO CANCER!!!!

Basically I had a "Full response to therapy" or in the medical document "demonstrated significant response to therapy". Which makes my Oncologist happy because this is what he has been working toward as well. This means surgery will be much easier.

The MRI revealed on the breast there were three masses detected, same as the ones before but this time they are "significantly reduced". Meaning the Chemo shrunk them but the medicine could not wipe them out completely, they were small tumors but still to big for chemo to get on it's own. So it looks like the mastectomy will move forward, which was predicted. But the question remains if the surgeon will feel the need to remove the shrunken lymph nodes in question as well just to be on the safe side.

The good news is the Chemo worked. All the things I went through were worth it because it worked. And I will continue with the Herceptin and that will gain even better results.

I was holding my joy close to the vest because these DR.s are rather stoic people, never too high, never too low. So I had to ask my DR. over the phone today, so this is good news, right? He said "OH Yes". =)

So I thought you all should be the first to know. You have hung with me on all the bad news and so I think everyone deserves some good news from time to time.

I see the surgeon on Monday so I will get you an update then.

Britt

CHEMO IS OVER!!!

Yeah!!!! I finished Chemo today. Not to eventful I slept as usual. Brian dropped me off and got me settled in and my mother picked me up with Erin later in the day. Brian got me flowers and candy. Thank you for all the emails and phone calls wishing me well. I do feel like it is a milestone. "It is not a sprint, it is a marathon" and I just past "Heartbreak Hill"- Boston reference) I hope I never have to return to this phase again. Now I can focus on growing my hair back in. I heard from a dear friend, that Brian used to work with, over Christmas that she also has Breast Cancer but was very private about it. She shared her wonderful attitude with me and assured me that in two months my hair will fill in with no open spots. She even got a pool/contest together for friends and family to guess when it all returned and they put in money and who ever wins by picking the date chooses a charity to donate it to. Sounds funny, do you guys want to do that too?

It never bothers me to spend the time at Chemo alone, one, as Mothers can attest too- I enjoy the alone time... Also I sleep most of the 4 hours stretch (I even woke myself up snoring today). So when I finished I felt all dizzy and wozy like waking up from a bad nap. I was well enough afterward my Mom and I briefly shopped for my new nephew who is joining the world in a couple weeks but I was still dizzy bleary-eyed so frankly I am not really sure what I bought HAHA, I will look at it later.=)

I will contiune to visit the oncologist every three weeks for a short IV injection of Herceptin that will coniune for another 8-12 months. This visit is like a walk in the park. You do not lose your hair or have symptoms with this and originally I thought it was going to take 1 hour 1/2 every time but the nurses say I have been taking it well all along and say I can get through it in 30 mins. So great, not a big deal.

After chemo I have to give myself shots to up my white blood counts. I started the process with only a 5 day supply of 2 small shots. Over the weeks my counts were slow to recover and therefore leaves me vulnerable to getting sick and slowing teh process. I was upped to 7 day supply. Last time the 7 day supply did not even help at all and I was still really low. Nothing to panic about it just means more shots. I was upped again to 14 days. It is a real hassle because two whole weeks of shots everyday!!! I have been battling with the Pharmacy the whole time so that is no fun either. But I am good at the battle now though.

It looks like our insurance is changing this year as well. I feel like I know the current plan so well Brian's manager has invited me to ask questions and understand the specific changes and how it pertains to our situation. As you can imagine coverage is king. The PET/CT and MRI that Brian mentioned each cost about $5000-$8000 each. I have had 4 MRI'S and 3 PET/CT's, you do the math... Thanks to Brian excellent coverage and the necessary due diligence, we have paid for very little of it.

Paige is doing well. She came to the DR office with me over her school break and sat with a wonderful friend who works at the medical center. She is a concierge for the facility. Pushing wheel chairs, getting coffee, setting up/organizing support groups. She is there to help the patients in any way. Brian and I met Nancy on our first visit to meet with radiation Dr. (Stanford Radiation is in the same building). She was so kind, warm and open, I immediately liked her. (She is a retired kindergarten teacher and breast cancer survivor as well). She showed us around the facility and put me to ease about how nice this experience could be. I changed Dr's and decided to received my ongoing care with Dr. Eldaly, because I liked him, I like the facility and mostly I liked the comfortable feeling I got from the staff and from Nancy. I like to call her my guardian angel, she swooped in at a time when we were so unsure of everything and she gave us a direction. Anyway, long story shirt. Paige came and sat with Nancy and they had a great time. They are starting a support group for children called Monkey Business. You drop the kid off and then the parent go to a separate support group during that time. It starts in March and Paige is so excited to go. She even drew pictures of monkeys that will appear on the flyers. I am glad she does not have negative thoughts of when I go to Chemo, when I tell her I have a chemo day, she is excited because she knows she is going over to her friend Brea's house for the afternoon.

Recently in school, Paige told us this story: the teacher explained that the class was going to pray for people who need their prayers and if the children wanted to suggest people that need prayers. (She goes to a Private school) Paige's hand shot up first and said that her Mom needs prayers because she has cancer. Hearing this, I pretty much "lost it" right at the dinner table. Poor Sweet Paige, she should not have to deal with this stuff. I was proud of her but I felt incredibly guilty as well. It's just not fair. Amazingly, she was not upset but for her just a fact of life. I think I will take her to sit with Nancy again, I bet Paige can benefit from talking to her, (ex-teacher and Cancer advocate) She is not handling the idea of me being away for three days for surgery very well.

I am sorry I feel like I babble on and if I repeat stories or medical scenarios, I am sorry. I hope to have good news to report tomorrow (Thurs of Friday) about the results of the PET/CT, MRI. I hope to see reduction in the tumors if not complete disappearance in some. I expect that some hot spots will be present and will need to be removed. I am not allowing myself to be too optimistic though. "Plan for the worst, hope for the best" is my motto. I hope the get a fax or a quick conversation with the nurse or Dr. and the more complete meeting on Jan 12th. I had to take that date even though I will not be feeling good still recovering from chemo, also Brian can't be there. He is in traveling to Nashville that day. Stanford screwed me again. They changed my appt from the 19th with the surgeon to sometime in FEB and never bothered to tell me I was bumped. They decided the office was closed for Martin Luther King Day and never informed the patience. I just happen to discover this by accident and was able to quickly get a new date. But I am irked because now Brian can't come to the meeting. This good news is as much his as it is mine. Anyway,they will hear my complaint to Stanford ( Always a battle) later but for now I am focused on the results. Wish us luck, I will call you or post as soon as I hear anything, good or bad. So be prepared. Love to you all.

Britt

Happy New Year and a Very Busy Week

Well we're at Stanford today, Britt is having a PET/CT scan and MRI. They will show us the progress we made with the Chemo and Herceptin treatments as well as give the surgeon a road map for the operation, which is scheduled for January 27th. Wednesday is Britt's last Chemo Therapy treatment and we are very excited about that. It has not been as trying as some have experienced, but it certainly has not been easy for her. She was amazing in her will to provide a "normal" Christmas for the family (ok and maybe she was a little demanding). We had a great Christmas Paige got a Guinea Pig, and Erin got some cool art supplies including some finger paints (need to rethink that one). It was good to have a good old fashion family Christmas with Britt's family.
For New Years we celebrated very quietly this year. Britt's folks traveled to Pasadena to see the Tournament of Roses Parade, so it was just us and the girls. We got the girls down and had a quiet dinner for two. Our goal from the start of this road has been for us to be in Hawaii in June celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary and the end of Britt's treatments. So for New Years I ordered some Kampachi fish from Kona and made Hawaiian Poke (Raw fish with soy sauce and seasonings), and seared fillets of it with prosciutto on a bed of risotto. For dessert I mad a Pineapple Sorbet. A very nice way to start the new year. We talked about 2008, and gladly bade it goodbye. We are looking forward to a very healthy happy 2009.