Chemo three- half way

I love my husband. What a beautiful entry he wrote. He is so good to me and I am so grateful of the unconditional support, love and encouragement he has given me. Without him I would be truly lost. I had a fabulous birthday thanks to him and my friends. I had lunch with my Mom friends here in town, we always like getting together just to talk and catch up. Of course the kids were there wreaking my friend, Denise's house but that was OK. Then Brian, my Mother in Law and the kids went to dinner at our favorite little Italian rest in town. We had Trick or Treating on Friday and Brian was able to walk around with me and the kids this year because Mom was back at the house happily giving out candy. Erin was so cute. She caught on right away and her favorite candy is lollipops. Over the weekend, our wonderful friends, Katie and Jim and Malia and Jon joined us at Pietra Santa, at the house on the winery property where we had a grand old time making dinner, toasting and catching up. Katie is also a Breast Cancer survivor and was one of the first people I called when I got my diagnosis. She is five years out and we celebrated that too. I can't wait to celebrate my five year survivor status. All and all is was a great birthday except that I have to admit that I am now 38. Only a couple years from the big 40.=)

I had my third session of Chemo on Weds. Similar effects as last time except that it seemed to hit me a little quicker than previously. On Sat I had a bad bout of cramps and nausea. My family was there to help out but just as I think I will know what to expect, things change on me. My Mother, Carole, has flown in from New Hampshire and will be staying with us for about four months. At least until Jan. And my Mother in Law, Nancy has flown home to Philadelphia where she will resume her retirement. She was a great help to me and my family and we truly could not repay her for her generosity to literally drop her life to spend four months with us through this tough time. Thank you so much, Mom.

Brian says that the Chemo will start to effect me harder now that my body is not as quick to recover from each session. Frankly, I am starting to dread this. I am only half way through and I just am getting tired of it. I have been reflecting lately on how much further I have to go. It is not like after Chemo everything is back to normal, I still have surgery to consider and radiation as well. I think about it and look at myself in the mirror and honestly can't believe it sometimes. It is really surreal. Do I really have Breast Cancer? Could it all be a huge mistake?

I guess I have been thinking about these milestones more because I have decided to work with a Patient Advocate at Stanford Hospital. As I get closer to surgery I have to get more tests and reengage with my surgeon, and get on her surgery schedule. Instead of trying to set all the appts myself, I was told about Patient Services who can help. So thankfully I have connected with someone who was able to set all my appts and tests for me. She got most everything lined up in an afternoon where it would have taken me a week to get a hold of everyone in the times I needed. I think the Advocate thinks I am "high maintenance" though, HAHA, like I have a reputation for blowing up and being impatient from last time. HAHA Oh well, I don't care, I am getting the help I need to maneuver Stanford.

Paige's 6Th birthday is coming up. Her party is this weekend. We are having it at a local park. I could not imagine telling Paige that she couldn't have a party this year just because Mom is sick. Why should she suffer because of me. But it is much more simple than in the past. For the folks reading this on the East coast, yes, we can still have outdoor parties here in California. Sorry for all the cold weather elsewhere. Brian's birthday is Sunday as well. It is always a busy time of year for us but we are looking forward to going to San Fran for the day. I will be felling better by then.

Last entry I promised a picture of myself in my wig. I have attached it. What do you think?

Take care everyone,

Britt