Well it is done. A couple days ago I started seeing extra hair in my brush. I knew it this was coming I just didn't expect it so soon. I expected to make it through my next Chemo session but I guess the medicine was working because as each day went by, more and more hair was coming out. Then about three days ago, when I washed my hair, I tried to wash so tenderly and hardly even blow dried it for fear of more coming out. It was everywhere and I couldn't stop it. As some of you know, I have very thick hair so even after all the hair I had lost, I still have a full head of hair. If I didn't touch it or comb it was fine, the minute I did anything to it, forget about it. I had a last fleeting hope that if I got a shorter hair cut, it would some how slow it down or maybe not be so noticeable but by that last weekend, we knew I was fighting the inevitable. I made it through one last evening with my Mom Friends here in town. We got together for dinner. I was sheddding but I looked presentable enough to get through the night.
The next night Brian, Paige, Erin and I had a haircut party. Paige modeled all my hats and wigs and we had bought clippers and Brian slowly cut off my hair. I won't tell you it was not emotional because it was. It was really hard for Brian as well. What husband would ever dream of doing this to their wife? But I wouldn't have wanted it any other way, it was so personal I didn't want anyone else there. We cried but we also laughed. Brian (the complete amateur that he is) gave me several memorable haircuts. First he cut up the sides and created a comb over. I looked like Aldof Hitler with his shaved sides and long comb over on top. Then he shaved higher and I looked like either a marine or a White supremesist!! (I think I would rather look like a marine) Then he shaved me a Mohawk. That was funny and every step of the way, I would look in the mirror, be shocked but I would slowly get used to what I was seeing. The finished product was more like Sigorney Weaver in Aliens. So it is done. I put on one of my new hats and we began to get used to it.
Paige was wonderful during the whole process, she brought me stuffed animals to comfort me and she even video taped some of it, she would make me laugh when I needed her to and she told me I was still the most beautiful Mommy she ever had. I love that kid!!. Erin was great in her own way too. The fact is, she doesn't look at me any different, children don't judge. To her, I am still her Mom, no matter what I look like. Thank God for that.
The next day, I tried on my wigs. They are a little uncomfortable but will be fine. I will get used to them. I keep telling myself it is only hair, I am still the same person. I am still the same person.
I am ready for Chemo this week and hope the medicine continues to work. This better be worth it!!!
Britt
5 comments:
You looked beautiful on Friday night, I didnt even notice you were starting to loose your hair. Thank you for sharing this story with us. Your sense of humor and optimisim is inspiring. You are absolutley still the same person. You and Brian are amazing people, its a wonderful blessing to have him, Paige and Erin by your side as you travel this path. Your blogs often make me cry, they are so heartfelt and real. This one was no exception. I will be seeing you soon.
We are so proud of all of you! Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. You are in our thoughts each day. I'm a believer, it will be worth it! Love, Marlo, Dave & Kennedy.
you are beautiful with or without hair britt. i also did not notice any difference in your hair on friday. you were in fact the same ol britt!!in fact it was great to see you having so much fun!
I wish I could see you but for now can only imagine how beautiful you look. I love reading your blogs, and "Brian's Beauty Salon" is touching. You are absolutely the same Britt we all miss out on the east coast, and love. Hang i there with your chemo this week and I will give you a call. Love, Kristy
I too didn't notice you looking any different last week at dinner. You looked beautiful and were as fun as always! Your blog made me laugh when you talked about Brian cutting your hair. I can totally picture Brian with the clippers and creating those silly styles. It's hard, but it's great that you could make light of the situation. You have a wonderful support system with Brian and the girls and know that I am always here for you too! And yes, even without your hair you are the same Britt...hair doesn't make the person, my friend :)
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