I knew you would all like to know as soon as possible. Finally some good news. I got the results of the MRI and PET /CT from earlier this week. Of the three areas where there was cancer in the lymph nodes: the rib cage, under the left arm, and behind the chest wall-- those three locations are "no longer suggestive of cancer". It means there is still "activity" in these lymph nodes but NO CANCER!!!!
Basically I had a "Full response to therapy" or in the medical document "demonstrated significant response to therapy". Which makes my Oncologist happy because this is what he has been working toward as well. This means surgery will be much easier.
The MRI revealed on the breast there were three masses detected, same as the ones before but this time they are "significantly reduced". Meaning the Chemo shrunk them but the medicine could not wipe them out completely, they were small tumors but still to big for chemo to get on it's own. So it looks like the mastectomy will move forward, which was predicted. But the question remains if the surgeon will feel the need to remove the shrunken lymph nodes in question as well just to be on the safe side.
The good news is the Chemo worked. All the things I went through were worth it because it worked. And I will continue with the Herceptin and that will gain even better results.
I was holding my joy close to the vest because these DR.s are rather stoic people, never too high, never too low. So I had to ask my DR. over the phone today, so this is good news, right? He said "OH Yes". =)
So I thought you all should be the first to know. You have hung with me on all the bad news and so I think everyone deserves some good news from time to time.
I see the surgeon on Monday so I will get you an update then.
Britt
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
CHEMO IS OVER!!!
Yeah!!!! I finished Chemo today. Not to eventful I slept as usual. Brian dropped me off and got me settled in and my mother picked me up with Erin later in the day. Brian got me flowers and candy. Thank you for all the emails and phone calls wishing me well. I do feel like it is a milestone. "It is not a sprint, it is a marathon" and I just past "Heartbreak Hill"- Boston reference) I hope I never have to return to this phase again. Now I can focus on growing my hair back in. I heard from a dear friend, that Brian used to work with, over Christmas that she also has Breast Cancer but was very private about it. She shared her wonderful attitude with me and assured me that in two months my hair will fill in with no open spots. She even got a pool/contest together for friends and family to guess when it all returned and they put in money and who ever wins by picking the date chooses a charity to donate it to. Sounds funny, do you guys want to do that too?
It never bothers me to spend the time at Chemo alone, one, as Mothers can attest too- I enjoy the alone time... Also I sleep most of the 4 hours stretch (I even woke myself up snoring today). So when I finished I felt all dizzy and wozy like waking up from a bad nap. I was well enough afterward my Mom and I briefly shopped for my new nephew who is joining the world in a couple weeks but I was still dizzy bleary-eyed so frankly I am not really sure what I bought HAHA, I will look at it later.=)
I will contiune to visit the oncologist every three weeks for a short IV injection of Herceptin that will coniune for another 8-12 months. This visit is like a walk in the park. You do not lose your hair or have symptoms with this and originally I thought it was going to take 1 hour 1/2 every time but the nurses say I have been taking it well all along and say I can get through it in 30 mins. So great, not a big deal.
After chemo I have to give myself shots to up my white blood counts. I started the process with only a 5 day supply of 2 small shots. Over the weeks my counts were slow to recover and therefore leaves me vulnerable to getting sick and slowing teh process. I was upped to 7 day supply. Last time the 7 day supply did not even help at all and I was still really low. Nothing to panic about it just means more shots. I was upped again to 14 days. It is a real hassle because two whole weeks of shots everyday!!! I have been battling with the Pharmacy the whole time so that is no fun either. But I am good at the battle now though.
It looks like our insurance is changing this year as well. I feel like I know the current plan so well Brian's manager has invited me to ask questions and understand the specific changes and how it pertains to our situation. As you can imagine coverage is king. The PET/CT and MRI that Brian mentioned each cost about $5000-$8000 each. I have had 4 MRI'S and 3 PET/CT's, you do the math... Thanks to Brian excellent coverage and the necessary due diligence, we have paid for very little of it.
Paige is doing well. She came to the DR office with me over her school break and sat with a wonderful friend who works at the medical center. She is a concierge for the facility. Pushing wheel chairs, getting coffee, setting up/organizing support groups. She is there to help the patients in any way. Brian and I met Nancy on our first visit to meet with radiation Dr. (Stanford Radiation is in the same building). She was so kind, warm and open, I immediately liked her. (She is a retired kindergarten teacher and breast cancer survivor as well). She showed us around the facility and put me to ease about how nice this experience could be. I changed Dr's and decided to received my ongoing care with Dr. Eldaly, because I liked him, I like the facility and mostly I liked the comfortable feeling I got from the staff and from Nancy. I like to call her my guardian angel, she swooped in at a time when we were so unsure of everything and she gave us a direction. Anyway, long story shirt. Paige came and sat with Nancy and they had a great time. They are starting a support group for children called Monkey Business. You drop the kid off and then the parent go to a separate support group during that time. It starts in March and Paige is so excited to go. She even drew pictures of monkeys that will appear on the flyers. I am glad she does not have negative thoughts of when I go to Chemo, when I tell her I have a chemo day, she is excited because she knows she is going over to her friend Brea's house for the afternoon.
Recently in school, Paige told us this story: the teacher explained that the class was going to pray for people who need their prayers and if the children wanted to suggest people that need prayers. (She goes to a Private school) Paige's hand shot up first and said that her Mom needs prayers because she has cancer. Hearing this, I pretty much "lost it" right at the dinner table. Poor Sweet Paige, she should not have to deal with this stuff. I was proud of her but I felt incredibly guilty as well. It's just not fair. Amazingly, she was not upset but for her just a fact of life. I think I will take her to sit with Nancy again, I bet Paige can benefit from talking to her, (ex-teacher and Cancer advocate) She is not handling the idea of me being away for three days for surgery very well.
I am sorry I feel like I babble on and if I repeat stories or medical scenarios, I am sorry. I hope to have good news to report tomorrow (Thurs of Friday) about the results of the PET/CT, MRI. I hope to see reduction in the tumors if not complete disappearance in some. I expect that some hot spots will be present and will need to be removed. I am not allowing myself to be too optimistic though. "Plan for the worst, hope for the best" is my motto. I hope the get a fax or a quick conversation with the nurse or Dr. and the more complete meeting on Jan 12th. I had to take that date even though I will not be feeling good still recovering from chemo, also Brian can't be there. He is in traveling to Nashville that day. Stanford screwed me again. They changed my appt from the 19th with the surgeon to sometime in FEB and never bothered to tell me I was bumped. They decided the office was closed for Martin Luther King Day and never informed the patience. I just happen to discover this by accident and was able to quickly get a new date. But I am irked because now Brian can't come to the meeting. This good news is as much his as it is mine. Anyway,they will hear my complaint to Stanford ( Always a battle) later but for now I am focused on the results. Wish us luck, I will call you or post as soon as I hear anything, good or bad. So be prepared. Love to you all.
Britt
It never bothers me to spend the time at Chemo alone, one, as Mothers can attest too- I enjoy the alone time... Also I sleep most of the 4 hours stretch (I even woke myself up snoring today). So when I finished I felt all dizzy and wozy like waking up from a bad nap. I was well enough afterward my Mom and I briefly shopped for my new nephew who is joining the world in a couple weeks but I was still dizzy bleary-eyed so frankly I am not really sure what I bought HAHA, I will look at it later.=)
I will contiune to visit the oncologist every three weeks for a short IV injection of Herceptin that will coniune for another 8-12 months. This visit is like a walk in the park. You do not lose your hair or have symptoms with this and originally I thought it was going to take 1 hour 1/2 every time but the nurses say I have been taking it well all along and say I can get through it in 30 mins. So great, not a big deal.
After chemo I have to give myself shots to up my white blood counts. I started the process with only a 5 day supply of 2 small shots. Over the weeks my counts were slow to recover and therefore leaves me vulnerable to getting sick and slowing teh process. I was upped to 7 day supply. Last time the 7 day supply did not even help at all and I was still really low. Nothing to panic about it just means more shots. I was upped again to 14 days. It is a real hassle because two whole weeks of shots everyday!!! I have been battling with the Pharmacy the whole time so that is no fun either. But I am good at the battle now though.
It looks like our insurance is changing this year as well. I feel like I know the current plan so well Brian's manager has invited me to ask questions and understand the specific changes and how it pertains to our situation. As you can imagine coverage is king. The PET/CT and MRI that Brian mentioned each cost about $5000-$8000 each. I have had 4 MRI'S and 3 PET/CT's, you do the math... Thanks to Brian excellent coverage and the necessary due diligence, we have paid for very little of it.
Paige is doing well. She came to the DR office with me over her school break and sat with a wonderful friend who works at the medical center. She is a concierge for the facility. Pushing wheel chairs, getting coffee, setting up/organizing support groups. She is there to help the patients in any way. Brian and I met Nancy on our first visit to meet with radiation Dr. (Stanford Radiation is in the same building). She was so kind, warm and open, I immediately liked her. (She is a retired kindergarten teacher and breast cancer survivor as well). She showed us around the facility and put me to ease about how nice this experience could be. I changed Dr's and decided to received my ongoing care with Dr. Eldaly, because I liked him, I like the facility and mostly I liked the comfortable feeling I got from the staff and from Nancy. I like to call her my guardian angel, she swooped in at a time when we were so unsure of everything and she gave us a direction. Anyway, long story shirt. Paige came and sat with Nancy and they had a great time. They are starting a support group for children called Monkey Business. You drop the kid off and then the parent go to a separate support group during that time. It starts in March and Paige is so excited to go. She even drew pictures of monkeys that will appear on the flyers. I am glad she does not have negative thoughts of when I go to Chemo, when I tell her I have a chemo day, she is excited because she knows she is going over to her friend Brea's house for the afternoon.
Recently in school, Paige told us this story: the teacher explained that the class was going to pray for people who need their prayers and if the children wanted to suggest people that need prayers. (She goes to a Private school) Paige's hand shot up first and said that her Mom needs prayers because she has cancer. Hearing this, I pretty much "lost it" right at the dinner table. Poor Sweet Paige, she should not have to deal with this stuff. I was proud of her but I felt incredibly guilty as well. It's just not fair. Amazingly, she was not upset but for her just a fact of life. I think I will take her to sit with Nancy again, I bet Paige can benefit from talking to her, (ex-teacher and Cancer advocate) She is not handling the idea of me being away for three days for surgery very well.
I am sorry I feel like I babble on and if I repeat stories or medical scenarios, I am sorry. I hope to have good news to report tomorrow (Thurs of Friday) about the results of the PET/CT, MRI. I hope to see reduction in the tumors if not complete disappearance in some. I expect that some hot spots will be present and will need to be removed. I am not allowing myself to be too optimistic though. "Plan for the worst, hope for the best" is my motto. I hope the get a fax or a quick conversation with the nurse or Dr. and the more complete meeting on Jan 12th. I had to take that date even though I will not be feeling good still recovering from chemo, also Brian can't be there. He is in traveling to Nashville that day. Stanford screwed me again. They changed my appt from the 19th with the surgeon to sometime in FEB and never bothered to tell me I was bumped. They decided the office was closed for Martin Luther King Day and never informed the patience. I just happen to discover this by accident and was able to quickly get a new date. But I am irked because now Brian can't come to the meeting. This good news is as much his as it is mine. Anyway,they will hear my complaint to Stanford ( Always a battle) later but for now I am focused on the results. Wish us luck, I will call you or post as soon as I hear anything, good or bad. So be prepared. Love to you all.
Britt
Monday, January 5, 2009
Happy New Year and a Very Busy Week
Well we're at Stanford today, Britt is having a PET/CT scan and MRI. They will show us the progress we made with the Chemo and Herceptin treatments as well as give the surgeon a road map for the operation, which is scheduled for January 27th. Wednesday is Britt's last Chemo Therapy treatment and we are very excited about that. It has not been as trying as some have experienced, but it certainly has not been easy for her. She was amazing in her will to provide a "normal" Christmas for the family (ok and maybe she was a little demanding). We had a great Christmas Paige got a Guinea Pig, and Erin got some cool art supplies including some finger paints (need to rethink that one). It was good to have a good old fashion family Christmas with Britt's family.
For New Years we celebrated very quietly this year. Britt's folks traveled to Pasadena to see the Tournament of Roses Parade, so it was just us and the girls. We got the girls down and had a quiet dinner for two. Our goal from the start of this road has been for us to be in Hawaii in June celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary and the end of Britt's treatments. So for New Years I ordered some Kampachi fish from Kona and made Hawaiian Poke (Raw fish with soy sauce and seasonings), and seared fillets of it with prosciutto on a bed of risotto. For dessert I mad a Pineapple Sorbet. A very nice way to start the new year. We talked about 2008, and gladly bade it goodbye. We are looking forward to a very healthy happy 2009.
For New Years we celebrated very quietly this year. Britt's folks traveled to Pasadena to see the Tournament of Roses Parade, so it was just us and the girls. We got the girls down and had a quiet dinner for two. Our goal from the start of this road has been for us to be in Hawaii in June celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary and the end of Britt's treatments. So for New Years I ordered some Kampachi fish from Kona and made Hawaiian Poke (Raw fish with soy sauce and seasonings), and seared fillets of it with prosciutto on a bed of risotto. For dessert I mad a Pineapple Sorbet. A very nice way to start the new year. We talked about 2008, and gladly bade it goodbye. We are looking forward to a very healthy happy 2009.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Merry Christmas
Hello all- Hope you are ready for Christmas, I certainly am. With Chemo on The 17th, I was forced to be prepared as though the 17th was practically Christmas Eve. I feel when I go into a chemo treatment, I know I am out of pocket for a week so it feels like I am going on some sort of messed up vacation. I clean off my desk, pay the bills, and try to wrap up everything because I won't be revisiting it for a bout 6 days. So I am pretty well set for Christmas minus some wrapping. Chemo was fine. My Mom and Brian are taking good care of me. A nice perk of this whole thing, is working with the American Cancer Society, they have a program called "Look good, feel better". Basically all these makeup companies donate makeup and a woman teaches you how to apply makeup while going through chemo. Your skin gets really dry, and in some cases women lose their eyebrows and eye lashes. I am lucky I never lost my eye lashes or eye brows (some small blessings) but I still wanted to go because you get about $250 worth of free makeup. It does make you feel better to have all this shiny new makeup to play with. Anyway, I met a woman my age also going through Chemo. She is 30 and has luychemia. I was telling her that most the women I run into are older. She said in her case most people are younger as Lukemioa is usually a disease common in children. Anyway, she was nice and I hope to connect with her again.
So Mom and I made Christmas cookies today ( actually she did most of it, I just kind of hoovered around) and Paige wrapped some presents, and overall we will have a nice Christmas holiday. My father is set to fly in on Tues. He has been battling bad weather in his part of the country losing electricity for almost 9 days. I am sure he will appreciate the somewhat warm weather of CA.
So Mom and I made Christmas cookies today ( actually she did most of it, I just kind of hoovered around) and Paige wrapped some presents, and overall we will have a nice Christmas holiday. My father is set to fly in on Tues. He has been battling bad weather in his part of the country losing electricity for almost 9 days. I am sure he will appreciate the somewhat warm weather of CA.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Chemo 4 & Chemo 5 on Dec 17th
Hi everyone, sorry I have not been keeping up on more updates. I know you get a lot from the blog but at this point I am in the groove with less urgent updates. I have my Chemo dates set. Chemo on Dec 17th and then again on Jan 7th and then I am done. I even have my surgery and followup tests set. If all goes according to plan, I should have my followup Pet Scan/CT in early January. This will be a very important test result. It will determine the direction of surgery and my next steps. I am tentatively set for surgery end of Jan. I have to wait at least three weeks after my last Chemo to fully heal and have no chance of infection, etc.
I have actually reached a point where I have some sense of a routine and the constant updates of the summer seems to have dissipated. I am in a place now where I am finally reflecting on the serious side of this disease and the steps I still need to take before it is over. I read a couple stories of other survivors such as Lance Armstrong and I just finished a book "Why I wore Lipstick to my Mastectomy". In their stories, they were so serious, devastated and scared. I guess I had been viewing this disease as some sort of project that will be over in about a year. It never occured to me to be scared that a recurrence is a real possibility and God forbid, I might have to do this all over again. A friend I used to play softball with, I recently found out she had a recurrence and has battled breast cancer twice. I don't think I could take it, if that happened to me. Those kinds of thoughts have been in the forefront lately. Even though these thoughts creep up, I can't assume the worse case scenario. I have to move forward with the course I am on. Being scared does nothing as far as change anything so it is better to be positive with what I have accomplished so far.
I also trying to get finished with Christmas shopping and preparations because I am anticipating not being up for much after the 17th. We are looking forward to a good Christmas. My mother, Father and sister will be visiting and Erin is a perfect age to really begin to understand Santa and presents. I will be feeling better by the time Christmas comes but I don't know if I will be able to enjoy Christmas dinner with my taste buds getting so messed up. This past time, everything tasted overly salty, sweet or savory. I was resorting to eating Pretzels, popcorn and cereal. Thankfully it only lasts a couple days.
I went to a support group last week with other breast cancer survivors and the ladies were very nice. They were all around 50 and 60 years old. I am still searching for someone to lean on who is my age now. I know it is not as common though. From these ladies, I heard stories of really bad reactions to Chemo. I felt lucky that I don't have those terrible side effects. They had troubles like swollen legs and ankles, cold sores, throwing up to the point of malnutrition, back pain, hospitalization for blood transfusions. All I feel is under the weather for 5-6 days. When you put it in perspective, I feel lucky.
Lately, I noticed after Chemo, the very next day I feel the effects. I lay around a lot and sleep a lot instead of a 2-3 day delay. I have very little motivation to do anything. By the 4th and 5th day, my motivation is back but my body is not. It is frustrating when I feel in my head, I am ready to get back to my life but I am still tired and lethargic. By day 6, I am ready to "reenter life" again. I tell my friends "I am back". I am able to take care of daily things and pick up all the loose ends that I blew off for a week. It feels good to be back. And after that I am my usual self.
Have a wonderful Christmas if I don't get to report in until after Christmas.
Britt
I have actually reached a point where I have some sense of a routine and the constant updates of the summer seems to have dissipated. I am in a place now where I am finally reflecting on the serious side of this disease and the steps I still need to take before it is over. I read a couple stories of other survivors such as Lance Armstrong and I just finished a book "Why I wore Lipstick to my Mastectomy". In their stories, they were so serious, devastated and scared. I guess I had been viewing this disease as some sort of project that will be over in about a year. It never occured to me to be scared that a recurrence is a real possibility and God forbid, I might have to do this all over again. A friend I used to play softball with, I recently found out she had a recurrence and has battled breast cancer twice. I don't think I could take it, if that happened to me. Those kinds of thoughts have been in the forefront lately. Even though these thoughts creep up, I can't assume the worse case scenario. I have to move forward with the course I am on. Being scared does nothing as far as change anything so it is better to be positive with what I have accomplished so far.
I also trying to get finished with Christmas shopping and preparations because I am anticipating not being up for much after the 17th. We are looking forward to a good Christmas. My mother, Father and sister will be visiting and Erin is a perfect age to really begin to understand Santa and presents. I will be feeling better by the time Christmas comes but I don't know if I will be able to enjoy Christmas dinner with my taste buds getting so messed up. This past time, everything tasted overly salty, sweet or savory. I was resorting to eating Pretzels, popcorn and cereal. Thankfully it only lasts a couple days.
I went to a support group last week with other breast cancer survivors and the ladies were very nice. They were all around 50 and 60 years old. I am still searching for someone to lean on who is my age now. I know it is not as common though. From these ladies, I heard stories of really bad reactions to Chemo. I felt lucky that I don't have those terrible side effects. They had troubles like swollen legs and ankles, cold sores, throwing up to the point of malnutrition, back pain, hospitalization for blood transfusions. All I feel is under the weather for 5-6 days. When you put it in perspective, I feel lucky.
Lately, I noticed after Chemo, the very next day I feel the effects. I lay around a lot and sleep a lot instead of a 2-3 day delay. I have very little motivation to do anything. By the 4th and 5th day, my motivation is back but my body is not. It is frustrating when I feel in my head, I am ready to get back to my life but I am still tired and lethargic. By day 6, I am ready to "reenter life" again. I tell my friends "I am back". I am able to take care of daily things and pick up all the loose ends that I blew off for a week. It feels good to be back. And after that I am my usual self.
Have a wonderful Christmas if I don't get to report in until after Christmas.
Britt
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving
A very happy Thanksgiving to all of our friends and family, Britt and I are very thankful for all of the love and support we have received this year. Today Britt is resting after receiving chemo yesterday, but she is looking forward to dinner later on. Paige says hello and Happy Thanksgiving, and says she is looking forward to helping me with dinner.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Chemo three- half way
I love my husband. What a beautiful entry he wrote. He is so good to me and I am so grateful of the unconditional support, love and encouragement he has given me. Without him I would be truly lost. I had a fabulous birthday thanks to him and my friends. I had lunch with my Mom friends here in town, we always like getting together just to talk and catch up. Of course the kids were there wreaking my friend, Denise's house but that was OK. Then Brian, my Mother in Law and the kids went to dinner at our favorite little Italian rest in town. We had Trick or Treating on Friday and Brian was able to walk around with me and the kids this year because Mom was back at the house happily giving out candy. Erin was so cute. She caught on right away and her favorite candy is lollipops. Over the weekend, our wonderful friends, Katie and Jim and Malia and Jon joined us at Pietra Santa, at the house on the winery property where we had a grand old time making dinner, toasting and catching up. Katie is also a Breast Cancer survivor and was one of the first people I called when I got my diagnosis. She is five years out and we celebrated that too. I can't wait to celebrate my five year survivor status. All and all is was a great birthday except that I have to admit that I am now 38. Only a couple years from the big 40.=)
I had my third session of Chemo on Weds. Similar effects as last time except that it seemed to hit me a little quicker than previously. On Sat I had a bad bout of cramps and nausea. My family was there to help out but just as I think I will know what to expect, things change on me. My Mother, Carole, has flown in from New Hampshire and will be staying with us for about four months. At least until Jan. And my Mother in Law, Nancy has flown home to Philadelphia where she will resume her retirement. She was a great help to me and my family and we truly could not repay her for her generosity to literally drop her life to spend four months with us through this tough time. Thank you so much, Mom.
Brian says that the Chemo will start to effect me harder now that my body is not as quick to recover from each session. Frankly, I am starting to dread this. I am only half way through and I just am getting tired of it. I have been reflecting lately on how much further I have to go. It is not like after Chemo everything is back to normal, I still have surgery to consider and radiation as well. I think about it and look at myself in the mirror and honestly can't believe it sometimes. It is really surreal. Do I really have Breast Cancer? Could it all be a huge mistake?
I guess I have been thinking about these milestones more because I have decided to work with a Patient Advocate at Stanford Hospital. As I get closer to surgery I have to get more tests and reengage with my surgeon, and get on her surgery schedule. Instead of trying to set all the appts myself, I was told about Patient Services who can help. So thankfully I have connected with someone who was able to set all my appts and tests for me. She got most everything lined up in an afternoon where it would have taken me a week to get a hold of everyone in the times I needed. I think the Advocate thinks I am "high maintenance" though, HAHA, like I have a reputation for blowing up and being impatient from last time. HAHA Oh well, I don't care, I am getting the help I need to maneuver Stanford.
Paige's 6Th birthday is coming up. Her party is this weekend. We are having it at a local park. I could not imagine telling Paige that she couldn't have a party this year just because Mom is sick. Why should she suffer because of me. But it is much more simple than in the past. For the folks reading this on the East coast, yes, we can still have outdoor parties here in California. Sorry for all the cold weather elsewhere. Brian's birthday is Sunday as well. It is always a busy time of year for us but we are looking forward to going to San Fran for the day. I will be felling better by then.
Last entry I promised a picture of myself in my wig. I have attached it. What do you think?
Take care everyone,
Britt
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